Life After Death
by Auttzthoughtz
Summary: Merlin is having a hard time coping with the death of his friend William. Arthur wishes to help him out as much as he can, but is having a bit of a hard time figuring out just how. Merthur if I continue this fic, and I will only continue upon request or if this story gets enough favorites/follows. Thank you for reading, if you do so, and enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Arthur goes first to Morgana's room that day. Not because he thought he'd find his absent manservant there, as the idiot didn't manage to show up for duty that day. No, it's more than that. Even though Arthur could feel as if Merlin and himself were friends, he knew at this point there still might be limitations. Limitations to the degree of 'where is he' and 'is he okay' and 'should I go see him or would that be stepping out of bounds' sort of questions. Questions, he hoped, his sister and her handmaid would have the answers to.

"Arthur, isn't a bit early for you to be awake?" Gwen asked quickly.

Arthur smirked. "I'll have to thank Merlin for that one later. And, while we're on the subject-"

"Yes," answered Morgana's voice from behind her partition. "If you come back here to ask me more questions, I will have to kill you."

Arthur looked to Gwen for a minute, and Gwen chuckled and mouthed something about a bath. Arthur smiled warily, and then waited a minute before replying. "Yes to what?"

"If you truly want to help Merlin, you should go see him. Not in the demanding that he get to work sort of way that you usually brush things off with," Morgana said loudly. "I mean for you to comfort him if you so wish, he might benefit from it. You realize he's just lost his best and practically only childhood friend, or don't you remember?"

"I do," Arthur said solemnly. "That's why I was concerned, when he didn't show up this morning."

"Just go, you prat," Gwen said in good humor.

Arthur sighed. "Only Merlin is allowed to call me that, understood?"

Both girls were chuckling as Arthur exited the room, and as he made his way down the halls to go see Merlin. When he reached the right door, Gaius answered instead of Merlin. "Good morning, Gaius."

Gaius looked at Arthur a bit angrily. "Can you not grant Merlin the day off? He's a bit out of shape right now, I'm afraid."

A weak voice from upstairs rang out. "I…I'll be downstairs in a minute. Don't worry, prat. Your chores will be done soon enough."

Arthur cleared his throat. When he spoke, he spoke in a quiet tone to Gaius. "I actually intend to give Merlin more than a few days off, on the assumption that he will also be granted time off working for you? Is that alright?"

Gaius smiled gently. "That's very kind of you."

"May I…do you think he'll want to see me right now?" Arthur said, wincing a bit at how that sounded as he spoke.

Gaius shrugged. "Trying couldn't hurt. You're the first out of many people that he's even come close to opening his door for. I don't think he would have considered work today if you hadn't come along asking. Just, go on ahead. I have errands to run anyhow." Arthur nodded, and he proceeded upstairs as Gaius proceeded out the door.

When he got upstairs, and opened Merlin's door, only to find a sobbing Merlin sat at the end of the bed. He shut the door behind him, and Merlin's head snapped up quickly.

"You're rather impatient, you know, you prat," Merlin said in a broken voice, trying to wipe away tears. "I said I'd be down soon enough."

"Merlin," Arthur said in a soft tone, sitting beside him on the bed. "I'm not worried about the chores."

"You, you just," Merlin tried to start, feeling tears again start to build in his eyes. "You wouldn't understand, alright?"

"I understand you need some time to mourn. I understand you could use a friend for comfort," Arthur said gently, watching Merlin carefully. "And, apparently, I hear that I'm the only one you've let near you all day. Are you going to treat me like a prat of a prince who will make you do chores, or are you going to treat me like your friend who is just here to help you?"

"I…I haven't slept," Merlin said groggily. Arthur kept his eyes on Merlin, making sure Merlin knew he was paying close attention to every word. "Not since we left, not since William died. I just…I can't explain it all, and I hope you understand that."

"Merlin, that was five days ago," Arthur said softly, counting together all the time that they remained in Ealdor after and the time it took them to travel back to Camelot. "You need to sleep."

"You don't think I've tried?" Merlin said in a weak tone. "It's not exactly easy."

"Well, perhaps not in this horrible bed, no," Arthur said, feeling with his hand the stiffness of Merlin's cot. "It's perhaps no better than sleeping on the floor."

"What do you suggest, then, prat?" Merlin said, still sniffling. "I don't exactly have access to any better quarters, I'm just a manservant, you know."

"Come off it, you know what I'm going to suggest," Arthur said, standing up and offering his hand. Merlin watched the prince's hand warily as it hung in the air in front of him. Arthur scoffed. "Okay, is it that horrible a notion? My bed is far more comfortable."

Merlin sighed, taking Arthur's hand. "I suppose it'll have to do."

Arthur reached up with his free hand, wiping the tears away from Merlin's face. "If it's any consolation, I'm sorry for your loss. William was a fine man and a decent sorcerer." Merlin flinched at Arthur's last choice words. "What is it? The word 'sorcerer', is that what bothers you? Bloody hell, I feel like a prat. When I accused you of it, Merlin, I felt so horrible to even think…not necessarily because of the magic, but because of the lie."

Merlin took his hand away from Arthur's swiftly, standing back a bit. "William wasn't a sorcerer," Merlin said, tears pooling in his eyes. "He's a bloody good friend, and he knew how much my new home meant to me, and…he wouldn't let me tell you otherwise because he didn't want you to hate me. I don't want you to hate me, and he knew that. I certainly don't like the idea of being sent off for execution, or even banishment."

"Shut up, Merlin," Arthur said, trying to process it all. Merlin sat back on his bed, and Arthur just couldn't take his eyes away as much as he tried. "You still need sleep. Get back up. We're going to my quarters."

This time, Merlin took Arthur's hand immediately. "Not to the king to be sentenced to death, you promise?"

Arthur sighed. "You really are an idiot sometimes."

So they walked like that. Holding hands as they walked. Every once and a while Arthur moved round to wipe tears from Merlin's face. When they finally reached Arthur's room, Arthur looked back at Merlin again, upset as he saw more tears forming. "Is there anything I can do to make you stop crying? I don't like seeing you like that."

"Not really, no," Merlin said softly, letting go of Arthur's hand to pull him into a hug. "But, thank you."

"I guess I should really say the same, huh? It's not every day I find out that my manservant has secretly been the magic saving my arse all those times when things just seemed impossible," Arthur said, smirking.

"Well, I guess I did," Merlin said, a small smile forming on his face. "So I guess you could be."

"Look, you're smiling. Now all you need is some sleep," Arthur said, gesturing toward the bed.

Merlin smiled gently, walking over and then flopping onto the bed. Then, he looked up at Arthur expectantly. "You're not joining me?"

Arthur smiled brightly, practically sprinting over and flopping onto the bed beside Merlin, chuckling. He turned over to his smirking friend beside him. "Did that look a little too eager?"

"I don't know," Merlin said honestly. "It has been a while since either of us got the day off. But was that what it was about?"

"No it's about the fact that you won't stop crying, and that I want to be here with you, and…" Arthur stopped in his tracks. Did he like Merlin? This was ridiculous. Of course, Merlin was his best friend. That's it. But then, in the back of Arthur's mind, a voice of 'then why were you so eager to jump in a bed with him' shrilled loudly.

"Arthur," Merlin said, breaking him off from train of thought. He yawned. "I am kind of sleepy, you know, 120 hours of work with no sleep is pretty bad. Not the time for an identity crisis."

Merlin turned away from Arthur, and Arthur gently scooted forward, wrapping himself around Merlin and pulling the covers around them. "You always know the right thing to say, you know that?"

Merlin smiled as he felt Arthur's head rest on his shoulder. "No, but I will keep that in mind, goodnight Arthur."

"Goodnight, Merlin," Arthur whispered gently over Merlin's throat. And that was the last thing either of them registered in their brains before they each drifted off into the most comfortable sleep they'd had in a long time.

**Author's Note: This was good for me to write. I just needed to get the idea out, and the tears. Alright, well, I may continue but I'm not sure. So I shall leave this fic as 'In Progress' while I decide. If you want me to continue this fic, my lovely readers, just let me know with comments/private messages/favorites/follows. One or all of the above is good. Just have so many fics up and running that I can't guarantee immediate updates unless highly in demand. Thanks for reading, though, if you did. If the story continues past this, it will be Rated M. This is my first Rated T story to be possibly left this way, so lemme know if it should be left Rated T or move up on the evolutionary scale. Alright, I will shut up now. **

**Love, Auttzthoughtz**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: After a lovely amount of positive feedback, and a few requests to continue, I decided to go on this morning to post a new chapter! Yay! You will notice I'm changing this story to Rated M. I figured that was going to happen. It shall be good though, the development of the mourning process and how they handle it together…and how that may affect their relationship. I'm not sure where I'm going with this yet, so, bear with me please. And, enjoy! :D**

Arthur's POV

Merlin's been staying in my quarters for about a week or two now. And it's not as if I mind. In fact, it's probably like I do the exact opposite of minding, really. I enjoy having him here. It's proving to be a bit of a problem.

At least, for me it is. I'm not supposed to want a servant in my quarters, and in my soft spot for his time to mourn I've been secretly picking up all his slack on chores this week. I even go down to see Gaius every other day, helping out as much as I can.

Merlin doesn't know just how much I've been doing for him, because all he realizes is that I come back whenever I can to mourn with him. I let him talk about William, even on the days where he just wants to share silly childhood stories about him. Sometimes he will cry, sometimes he will laugh.

I think, which also may be a bit horrible to say, I am kind of glad this happened. Well, I am actually just really glad to be getting to know Merlin better. I mean, I know Merlin. His personality has never been strange to me, as makes some of the stories he tells fairly conceivable to me. However, now he's opening up about his past. And, well, about his magic. It was a whole side of him I would've never known existed if I didn't come to help him. And, sickeningly against everything I've ever been taught about magic, I find his stories and his magic intriguing.

Some days he will just sit and practice magic, keeping himself occupied as he can while I'm gone. Sometimes I catch glimpses, and I find that I shouldn't be so entertained by the notions behind his magic. I am though, very much so.

Every day I grow a little fonder of something about him, and honestly it's starting to frighten me. And, today of all days, Merlin's started to notice.

"And that was the time that – oh, prat, are you even listening?" Merlin asks me.

I chuckle kindly. I think I was listening, but I was also kind of staring oddly. I snap myself out of it. "Of course, of course I am listening Merlin."

"I may have said this before," Merlin says to me, laughing softly. "That this isn't exactly the perfect time for an identity crisis."

"Yes," I said, straightening up my back a bit as I sat across the bed from him. "I suppose I should listen a bit better about that, shouldn't I?"

"I'm sorry," Merlin whispers. "However, I think I've changed my mind on that. But if you have decided otherwise, I mean-"

"Why have you changed your mind?" I asked confusedly, now my brain was giving myself actual time to process these possible feelings, and it feels as if I can barely breathe.

"Arthur," Merlin whispers, inching closer and closer until he's wrapping his arms around me and laying his head on my shoulder, practically sitting in my lap. "I don't think it was ever about denial, it was more about time. I just needed some time to actually mourn. I would never have thought that you would actually want me for this long here, but it's been weeks. I've noticed you've been taking over all my slack for work, and while you are a total clotpole, I don't think I've ever been happier spending my time anywhere else. Now I just want to hear more about you."

"Me?" I asked, grasping onto his shirt and pulling him back so he can face me. "What don't you already know about me?"

"Why don't you tell me?" Merlin said, grasping around my torso and pulling me back to lay across from him in the bed.

I just chuckled. "Alright, well, I guess I've never really told you some things. You know, you wouldn't think it, but my dad used to be kind. But, since my mother did in fact die in birthing me, I guess it was only so long before he would become bitter. I've heard rumors, only rumors, that there was a sorcerer involved that is the reason she did die. I can't think that there would be any other reason my father would despise sorcery so much. I mean, I didn't. I never did. Everything fascinates me. There's just this overcurrent of need to work for duty that overshadows my actual fascination with things. When you do your magic, I wish I could say I hated it. It's the way I have always been trained to be. But, every time your eyes shine gold I can't help but feel more entranced by you." Merlin let his eyes fade to gold, and I sighed. "_Mer_lin, I can't concentrate."

Merlin just smiled. "I love you, Arthur Pendragon."

"I have a feeling this will be complicated, but I love you too Merlin Emrys," I reply.

That's when he starts leaning in, and I meet him halfway, and our lips meld together perfectly. It is followed shortly by our hips as we move against each other in such a craze of passion. I move my lips away and look at him longingly. "Merlin, what do I do next?"

"I think," Merlin says, flipping me onto my back and climbing onto my lap, "I do this."

He starts grinding downwards, and all I can think to do is grab him by his hair and kiss him messily as we move so sensually. Suddenly both our hands start ripping away at clothing, and just as the last clothing comes flying off, Merlin's asking me how I want to do this. I shrug, _shrug_ of all things. He laughs at me and climbs back onto my lap. He mutters something and there's almost a glow about him as he sinks down onto my member. I've never felt anything like this in my life, and within minutes of Merlin riding me I want a turn and am flipping us over, thrusting with earnest into my sorcerer's eager body.

Then, as I swear I would not have noticed were it not for the shriek, we were found out. While Merlin's eyes were glowing pure gold and we were passionately intertwined, my sister strolls in. "Merlin – Merlin's a sorcerer."

I look up in a panic and my eyes grow wide. Merlin's have returned to normal. "Morgana, you are going crazy. Merlin's just…well, a bit compromised at the moment."

Morgana narrowed her eyes. "But, I saw gold."

"It was reflection off the candlelight?" I ventured to her.

She sighed. "If that's what you want to call it, sure. I just wanted to tell you father wants to speak with you. You should be glad I was the one that walked in and not him, because he wouldn't have been so kind as to take your excuses."

"Thank you," Merlin practically squeaked. "If you want help interpreting your visions, with a debt I will be there for you."

Morgana's mouth dropped. Then, after about a minute, she composed herself. "Alright, we shall talk about this later then. Uther's coming up here in ten minutes, I suggest you clean up."

"Thanks," I replied timidly, and she left.

"We need to lock your door next time, seriously, she's not wrong," Merlin said in a panicked tone. "If it was your father who had come up, my head would have been off."

I pull away from Merlin, as unfortunately the mood for both of us has been tampered with. "I'm sorry, +Merlin, I didn't mean to…"

"The king can't know I've been here for weeks, I have to take my things and go. I love you, and I promise I will be coming back," Merlin said as he leaned forward to place one last kiss on my lips. He quickly dressed and was out with all his things and teary eyes a mere minute before my father showed up.

"Hello, Morgana told me you needed to speak with me," I said, as I had cleaned myself up and was ready to address my father.

"I am concerned, Arthur, that your relationship with your manservant has turned tides of sorts," Uther said. "I mean not to insinuate romantic entanglement, although you strictly know my rules against that being the case. I believe firmly there is something off about Merlin, and the day I find out is the day he leaves Camelot – dead or alive…depending on how gracious I feel."

"It's true I care for Merlin, is it a crime to care for someone in my life instead of spending my life acting as an emotionless prat?" I suggested harshly, finally feeling the courage as I spoke the words I have been attempting to speak for years.

"I always knew there was something about Merlin, something about the way he saves you that couldn't be natural to his form. Then, it hit me that he wasn't lying to save the servant girl when he spoke of using magic – it was his magic all along," Uther replied firmly. "Morgana confirmed today that my suspicions are correct, and the guard of Camelot should be looking for Merlin right about now. You know I am intolerant of magic in this kingdom, and for you allowing it in our home you are lucky I don't have you executed as well."

Uther brushes off his coat as I stare in horror. I'm finished. "I'm leaving Camelot. I refuse to be your stupid heir, and I refuse to live a lie. A sorcerer killed my mother and you assume all magic is bad? It wasn't the sorcerer that didn't weigh the consequences of tampering, it was you! And the price is for nothing, because honestly, I am sick and tired of being treated awful every time I do something actually human. I will be gone by morning, and Merlin will come with me. Whatever knights you sent aren't going to take Merlin without consulting me. When you die, I hope your last breaths are regret for trying to make your son oblivious to good things of the world for nothing but revenge on one person."

"I will have you executed as well," Uther threatened.

"Go ahead, I would be more than okay to die in the place of my actual family," I spoke quietly. "You again and again almost let the only people that treat me like a person be sentenced to death by your utter arrogance, and while you ignore who I am they aren't shy to admitting that there is more to me than the monster you have created."


End file.
